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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fire, and He'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"I wonder what TSA would do if I brought a block of ice through airport security. My physics teacher said it's not a liquid."

"Why aren't redheads very good R&B singers? Because they have no soul"

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven One looks to the other and says ""man it's hot in here"" The other looks back and says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN"""

"Remember: if you see a tie on my doorknob, it means I'm taking the door to prom"

"How do you titillate and ocelot? You oscillate it's tit a lot!"

"-I got you a birthday present... ...but I can't give it to you until tomorrow. -What is it? -It rhymes with 'Something to get drunk with'."

"Sally Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (Reader says who's there) Not Sally."

"What do you call a lesbian with big fingers? Well hung.!"

"*mob meeting* ayo new guywho're you? ""they call me the butcher"" oh yea? why's that, butch? *smacks him with a pork loin* ""no reason"""