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Joke of the Day

"two lesbians Lesbian 1: ""Hey! I finally found your dido!"" Lesbian 2: ""Great! I knew you had it in you!"""

"How can you tell when a drummer's at the door? He doesn't know when to come in"

"I would rather weave a suit out of my grandfather's pubic hair than ""pull an all-nighter"" with you."

"What did one sperm say to the other? How are we gonna find an egg in all this shit?!"

"Relationship status: My wife calls me her chauffeur because I drive her nuts..."

"Breaking news A landslide recently struck downtown Chicago, causing $3 million worth of improvements."

"Fun prank: Tell an English major how ""impactful"" something is."

"Why can't your wife make crispy bacon? Because she got used to your soft meat."

"Did anyone ever find out who let the dogs out?"

"My girlfriend says I'm hopeless at fixing appliances Well, she's in for a shock"