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Joke of the Day

"What did one sperm say to the other? How are we gonna find an egg in all this shit?!"

"*takes personality test* *fails*"

"The three rules about procrastination. 1. 2."

"Pregnancy in the 1940's. (Doc) - ""Mrs. Smith, I have some **great** news for you"".... (Patient) - ""Thats MISS Smith, doctor!"".... (Doc) - ""Miss Smith, I have some *bad* news for you""...."

"What is Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg's favorite facebook game? Candy Kush."

"How do you tell the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber? Ask them to pronounce 'Unionized'."

"Save your money ...you never know when your friends will need it."

"Hi, I want to get a tattoo to express my individuality. Do you mind if I look through this book of tattoos you've done for other people?"

"My wife told me this in the car the other day. Thought you might enjoy! Wife: I can't believe they're still together after all that shit. Me: Who? Wife: My butt cheeks."

"Guys love legs. Women, if you can grow more legs that would be a major turn on"