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Joke of the Day

"Canada's navy"

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"If you are over 40, it's no longer called masturbation. It's called a system check."
"What does the Cincinnati gorilla story tell us? It's the first time that black-on-black crime made national (even international) news."
"LPT: If you're single this weekend, remember... Name your hands and you'll have an instant threesome! Happy Valentine's day!"
"A man is in the doctor's office: ""Doctor, can I get AIDS from sitting on a toilet seat?"" ""Well yes, but only if you sit down before the last guy gets up."""
"What's colder than ice cream? ISIS"
"I got a notice that a sex offender just moved in nearby and I'm worried for my children... So I got them all pedometers."
"What's the opposite of Adele? Amac or BB-Mac (you pick which one's funnier)"
"How is a vagina like a cigarette? The closer you get to the butt the stronger the taste."
"Why was the corn farmer paranoid? Because the field has ears."