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Joke of the Day

"Dad, how does it feel to have such a handsome son? I don't know son, ask your grandfather..."

"People are freaking out because the Orlando shooter was investigated by the FBI and was able to buy a rifle. But you can also run for president."

"Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe."

"[Job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength?"" ""Sticking my fingers in people's mouths."" ""Arhghv-um-hirv-ok-hrbsj-hired"""

"Hippocrates did very well for himself, considering he was named after cages for a large mammal."

"A Roman gladiator walks into a bar... ...and holds up two fingers. ""Give me five beers, please."""

"Which dinosaur was the hardest to find? ...the Steganosaurus! And do you know why? ...because it was encryptid!"

"Three ways to get something done Do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it."

"Ever notice that Reddit is obsessed with correcting mistakes? Me to."

"Don't you hate it when you put a freshly baked pie on the windowsill to cool and a cartoon character steals it?"