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Joke of the Day
"Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe."
Next Joke
"Why cant Helen Keller drive a car? ..Because she's dead."
"I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life creating wacky sci-fi inventions... The time machine alone set me back 15 years."
"How does a rock star feel when he nails a groupie? Fan-fucking-tastic!"
"When my large dog wants to sit beside me but my other slightly less large dog already is, he just sits on top of him"
"I thought about doing anal But I figured my dick has gotten me in enough shit already"
"My mum tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed. It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold."
"I don't need people. I have potato chips. And unlike people you can enjoy them and then legally throw their crumpled remains into a campfire"
"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying ""am I being detained?"""
"I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me... How dairy"