200522

Joke of the Day

"I don't believe in reincarnation but damn my dog looks like he's trying to crank over a motorcycle while he's sleeping."

"You're wrong! I touched second base. I missed third... but I touched second."

"Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche? At a ghastly station."

"Your mama is so fat... If she falls she drops harder than Skrilex..."

"A guy was admitted to my local hospital yesterday where they found 6 plastic horses stuck in his ass. The Doctor came out and described his status as Stable........"

"Technology has made it so much easier to complain about technology."

"My wife has everything I could ever want in a woman: Low standards."

"Why is Donald Trump so intent on building a wall with Mexico? To stop the workers at his construction site from running back!"

"Why wasn't Rome built in a day? Because it was a government job."

"A helicopter crashed on a graveyard Reports says over 500 dead."