23150

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a math teacher in an anime? Sin Pi"

"Why did the M&M 's go to college? Because they wanted to be smarties."

"Him: I just had sex with that woman! Me: She's 60. Him: I know. Me: I Hope you used protection or you might have caught osteoporosis."

"[Doctor's Office] Dr: I'm not going to candy-coat this.... Me: *misses bad results of test because I'm imagining a coat made of Skittles*"

"*takes picture of son putting ornament on the tree* Okay, now give that back to mommy and don't touch another one, okay?"

"Why did the orange move to veggieland? So he could live in peas and hominy."

"why do birds sudenly appear every time you are near and how do u always manage to fit that many birds in ur mouth to begin with"

"So it is my anniversary I couldn't think of what to get her... But I finally settled on a plunger, because bitches love bringing up old shit"

"I used to be terrified of my dentist. He wasn't rough with my teeth or anything, he was just a paedophile."

"What's the true meaning of a New Years resolution? Something you do for the first week of the new year."