185656

Joke of the Day

"What's the true meaning of a New Years resolution? Something you do for the first week of the new year."

"A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door."

"What is Beethoven doing in his grave? He's de-composing ! Happy Halloween everyone."

"How do you get whole race to hate you? Blow up the finish line. (I figured 2 years was long enough)"

"My dog was diagnosed with diabetes. Its okay though, I only had to give her one shot. I chose a .357 magnum."

"Cute waiter: Hi, what can I get for you? Me: *accidentally barks*"

"What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent van Gogh?? You gonna eat that?"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants... The bartender looks over and says, ""Get the fuck out of my bar, we're sick of hearing this goddamn joke."""

"My wife and I always joke around. She'll ask ""What were you doing?"", then we'll both laugh and then I go make sure I cleared my web history."

"So a guy walks in on his daughter masterbating with a cucumber. ""SICK!"" he said. ""I was going to eat that.... Now it's going to taste like cucumber."""