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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you call a snail on a ship? A: A snailor."

"What is Jesus's go-to pickup line? Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?"

"There is 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't"

"Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at."

"Ever since I took geometry at school, my life has turned around 360 degrees."

"[on phone with mom] SHE SAID YES!!!! ""congrats, son"" I asked her if she thought I was weird ""Wait what?"" She thinks I'm weird. We broke up"

"ME: hey guys what's the herps? HIM: u mean haps? M: oh, haha yea. what's the itch?I mean sitch H: uh M: hows it herpin? H: M: I have herpes"

"What did the square say to the root? ""Radical"""

"I ran 3 miles this morning, so if I did my math correctly, I can eat 3 pounds of cake today."

"YOGI: Close your eyes and breathe. ME: [angrily rolling up my mat] I was under the impression this was a picnic and you were a talking bear"