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Joke of the Day

"Can someone just invent a mirror that takes pictures already!"

"Why couldn't the pickle leave the bar? Because the door was ajar!"

"How many controlled oposition does it take to change a light bulb? None you know of. Since they signed a Non Disclosure Agreement to not talk about it."

"Had some mushrooms this morning. Breakfast of Champignons."

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? To avoid being confused with feminists."

"Why did the Jonestown jokes never catch on? The punchlines were too long."

"Where does bitter wine come from? From the grapes of wrath."

"The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry's in the oven. I'm going to bed."

"Please do not compare your dog problems to parenting. Your dog cannot say your name 3,258 times in a day."

"If life gives you lemons... Make lemonade If life gives you melons... You might be dyslexic."