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Joke of the Day

"Vegetables What did the cucumber say to the cabbage when they got kidnapped by the tomato? Lettuce go"

"Jesus loves me ... it's so awkward."

"Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases it is damned near impossible."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip!!"

"Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER"

"What did the Russian man say to the boy after he did nice for someone? That was *Cher-i-nobyl* of you"

"At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours."

"What does a baby computer call his father? Data."

"What is Moby Dicks dad's name? Poppa Boner"

"A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, his quick reaction killed him."