173777

Joke of the Day

"Here, take my advice. It's not like I'm using it..."

"My parrot was hit by a car today His last words were ""Shit, theres a parrot on the road"""

"What is the difference between a soap and a jew? There isn't."

"If you can think of a better fish pun Let minnow"

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for gelato."

"Autocorrect just changed my kissy face emoji to ""stop it you're 37"" then powered down my phone."

"Why shouldn't you give a meth addict laxatives? because it's already hard enough for them to keep their shit together."

"I was having sex last night and had an epiphany right before I climaxed... I guess you could say that I came to a realisation."

"How do Batman's parents call him to dinner? They don't; they're dead."

"Roses... Roses are red violets are blue - I'm a schizophrenic and so am I."