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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who stands on the left side of an escalator? A fucking asshole."

"What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"How do you make a redditor... Click on a post?"

"What do you get when you mix a bulldog and a shih tzu? Bullshit. Works better if you say it out loud."

"What's the difference between abortion and terrorism? Terrorism is funded by the US government!"

"What did Rihanna say when asked why she was still with Chris Brown? She shrugged and said ""Beats me!"""

"You can tell how important a thing is by if there's a cheese of it: string, important; mars, not important; blue, important; democracy, not"

"Tripped in a curry house... It went from bad to worse when slipped into a korma (coma) I just invented this joke. It might only work with Mancunian accent?"

"*holds up bread* this is my body *holds up wine* this is my blood *holds up an opened lap top* this is my sound cloud, please check it out"

"Made the decision that I'm done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast."