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Joke of the Day

"I imagine Christmas morning at the Schrodinger house is quite stressful."

"There there password. I don't think you're weak."

"What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a colored wash? Whites occasionally get inside a colored wash."

"I don't have a problem with alcohol. Only without it."

"I'm looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math..."

"I used to do the ""hokey pokey""... But I turned myself around."

"Every time student loan rates double, the price of solo cups should get cut in half."

"Avoiding eye contact with co-workers is for rookies. Make eye contact and don't say anything as you pass"

"Why couldn't the pig pay his bill? He was a little shoat."

"The English language is bizzare There was a young girl from Slough Who choked on a piece of raw dough But the time she was through With hiccup and cough She woke everyone in the borough"