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Joke of the Day

"What gives you uncontrollable gas? Nazis"

"Why did the police drop the charges against the man accused of being an olive branch? Because the charges wooden stick. My humblest apologies. * The case! Drop the case! Ah fuckit."

"A girl once asked me if she was fat I told her that she was beautiful. In fact, she could model in a summer swimsuit catalog if she wanted. I hear they're casting for beach balls."

"Asians are such bad drivers.. I'm beginning to think Pearl Harbor was an accident."

"Why couldn't the blind black man play hockey? Because he was black."

"Obama is the first president to visit a federal prison. Hes also the first black man to be let OUT of a federal prison"

"The real problem with kissing a perfect 10 The cops come chasing after you"

"Our WIFI was down yesterday and I spent 45 minutes trying to fix it. Our dishwasher has been broken for 3 weeks and I haven't even touched it."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my chest."

"Arron Hernandez found guilty of first-degree murder He has been sentenced to life in prison without parole. I'm not quite sure how much longer he is going to remain a ""tight end"""