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Joke of the Day

"Why did the police drop the charges against the man accused of being an olive branch? Because the charges wooden stick. My humblest apologies. * The case! Drop the case! Ah fuckit."

Next Joke
 
"I want to go back in time... And change the way the letter 'eight' is pronounced to sodomized. Then in the future ask people why was nine afraid of seven?"
"Did you know that Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard? Neither did she."
"I quit smoking for good Now I smoke for evil."
"Why did the spider buy a car ? So he could take it out for a spin !"
"Hubs: "" Few glasses of wine tonight hun""? Me: "" Yeah, I had a glass of red"" Hubs : "" Just one eh"" Me: "" Well I use the same glass"""
"A scientist walks into a bar and seems depressed. The bartender asks ""What's the matter?"" The scientist replies ""Everything is matter."""
"Boss left his email open. Me: *looks around, send email to district manager ""i love you"" Now we wait"
"1 fist bump from a cool black dude = 5 years of my white parents loving me."
"If you can take my girl, then you can have her. If I can take your girl, then you can have her too."