210360
Joke of the Day
"Asians are such bad drivers.. I'm beginning to think Pearl Harbor was an accident."
Next Joke
"Looking for a good retractable leash. when I walk my turtle I hate when it gets to far ahead of me"
"Sitting on the porch late one night. A fox steals up and settles quietly next to me. Pearl divers don't hold their breath as long as I do."
"What is a Pokemon master's favorite kind of pasta? Wartortellini!"
"Michelle Obama telling America to drink more water is the best plan I've heard for making racists dehydrate to death."
"I ordered a brand-new sandwich maker online. Her name is Svetlana."
"What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn't eat whole rotisserie chickens?"
"Made a weird face in the mirror this morning and I looked like Ted Cruz. This is my suicide note."
"Child: Dad, I don't like the goldfish... Dad: Shut up and eat your dinner."
"It puts the vodka in its mouth or else it sees the ugly girls."