230861

Joke of the Day

"Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee"

"William Shatner is going to sponsor a new line of women's jeans made to hide adult diapers underneath. They're going to be called Shatner Pants."

"My Birthday For my birthday I asked for a bicycle, an action man, and a vibrating butt plug... I never got that bike."

"What is a prostitute's favorite region of America? The Bayou"

"There were zwei peanuts walking down the strae... ... and one was a salted... peanut."

"I visited the ghetto once... Didn't see much, i was in the luggage of a car blindfolded."

"Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot."

"What does the B in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B. Mandelbrot"

"*Murderer points a gun at me* ""You wanna die today"" Me: ""Yeah kinda"" Murderer: *lowers gun* damn, you wanna talk about it?"

"Dad: Do you know Dop Ted? Son: What's Dop Ted? Dad: You are! Son: Good one, Dad! Dad: I'm not your dad! \_()_/ "