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Joke of the Day
"There were zwei peanuts walking down the strae... ... and one was a salted... peanut."
Next Joke
"how many people does it take to save the world? zero (compliments to my SO who thinks she made this up)"
"What did a confused Mexican alphabet say? K"
"You know, if I slouch in my chair at just the right angle, my fat rolls into a pretty impressive 3-pack'. Heck, I'm half way to sexy town "
"How do you get a kleenex to dance? You put a little boogie in it."
"An ESL student accidentally bought a middle Engish dictionary... ...and hath furnished many a quipster and baffoon with merriment and jocularity"
"[boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount"
"Hungary should take over Turkey If asked why, they would say ""because we are 'Hungary'"""
"Teen for rent: Knows everything, does nothing."
"What did the inn keeper say to the Big Dipper when he asked if he could rent a room? sorry this is only a four star hotel."