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Joke of the Day

"Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat."

"What do you call a confidence game within a confidence game within (yet another) confidence game? Conception"

"I see the baby's nose is running again"" said a worried father. ""For goodness sake!"" snapped his wife. ""Can't you think of anything other than horse racing?"""

"""You know how I realized I had such a great butt?"" Because every time I would walk away after meeting a group of ladies I could hear them say, "" what an ass"""

"Bono played a prank on me yesterday and I wasn't happy. He really pushed me over The Edge."

"The kids were really suprised when I put ginger in their curry... ...they really *did* love that cat. > Stolen from a recent episode of *Match Of The Day*"

"A son walks up to his dad and tells him: ""Dad, did you know in other countries you don't know who your wife is until you get married?"" His dad replies: ""It's like that everywhere son."""

"I just saw a Nazi drive past me at 88 mph Probably going Back to the Fuhrer"

"What is the difference between a paycheck and a cock? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!"

"If you were 8 years old when ""red, red wine"" was released UB40 now."