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Joke of the Day

"Bono played a prank on me yesterday and I wasn't happy. He really pushed me over The Edge."

"I hate when I'm driving and I see people text and drive. It makes me want to throw my beer can at them."

"While it's true that ""ain't NOTHIN' wrong"" with my neighbor Karen's tits, I understand that I don't need to notify her each morning."

"This damn button keeps popping off my keyboard... I swear I am about to lose fucking Ctrl."

"The number of times you've found a hair in your food is not nearly as scary as the number of times you haven't."

"This is incredible. My iPhone's battery has made it 3 hours without needing to be charg"

"What do you call a blind German? A nat-zee"

"You should trust Benjamin Franklin's judgment He's always right on the money."

"What did the black pedophile say? ""Hey kid, wanna help me snatch some candy?"""

"Last night... ...as I was lying in bed, I looked up at the beautiful night sky, the beautiful moon, and the beautiful stars. Then I wondered: where the fuck is my roof?"