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Joke of the Day

"I see the baby's nose is running again"" said a worried father. ""For goodness sake!"" snapped his wife. ""Can't you think of anything other than horse racing?"""

"My father suffers from short term memory loss I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it."

"It's so cold this morning I had to seperate my dogs poop into two seperate bags and use them as hand warmers."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I've never gotten stuck in a traffic jelly!"

"Making cakes Mom: I need to go to the store to buy some molasses. Dad: Why don't you just dig under the front yard?"

"Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey are to star in a new film, a murder mystery set at a music festival. It's a Whodunnit."

"My doctor told me I have the vitals of someone half my age. I have no idea how he found out, but now I'll have to kill him too."

" ...Oh the weather outside's delightful, the balance in my account is frightful, what happened to all my dough, I dunno, I dunno, I dunnnnoooooo... "

"""And the rest is history."" -Lazy history teacher"

"Some mornings I just want to brew the coffee directly into my mouth."