102101

Joke of the Day

"""You know how I realized I had such a great butt?"" Because every time I would walk away after meeting a group of ladies I could hear them say, "" what an ass"""

"Did you hear about the new viagra eye drops? They just make you look hard."

"What's the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it dies."

"[speed dating] I enjoy gardening. I've got a bit of a green thumb. Actually several of my fingers are discolored. I think I have diabetes."

"How can you tell if a Mexican is feeling sad? They're wearing a SOMBERERO"

"Do NOT look under a teenage boy's bed, & never, EVER ask him why he & his friends are laughing. - two things I've learned the hard way"

"*turns down the lights* Girl this is going to be a magical night *dumps legos on bed* ok first we need to separate these by color"

"Two old drunks I was sitting in a bar with my friend and I noticed two old drunks across the bar from us. I laughed and said, ""That's us in ten years."" My friend replied, ""That's a mirror, dipshit."""

"How do you get high underwater? seaweed! lol my friends 12 yr old daughter told us this one"

"Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac"