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Joke of the Day

"I'm more comfortable hearing my five-year-old repeat swear words in public than I am hearing him say ""uh-oh!"" from another room."

"Two Grandma's Are Walking Down The Street... One says to the other 'My chest is tight, and I feel heavy'. The other one replies 'That's because you're standing on your left titty.'."

"Why are men the best chefs? Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months."

"going to office: late . going to a doctors appointment: late . going to a friends house: late . going to a concert: 8 hours early"

"Q: When will there be a woman in the White House? A: When Hillary leaves town."

"I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said ""Work hard, Pray hard"".... I couldn't tell if there were Christians or Asians."

"What did Charlie Bucket say when Willie Wonka peed on him? I've got a golden tinkle in my eye... "

"I recently got crushed by a pile of books, but I suppose I have only my shelf to blame."

"[at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first"

"Want to hear a joke? Just talk out loud."