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Joke of the Day

"Avoid cars that have a sign saying 'baby on board'. That driver has only had a couple of hours sleep and is likely to be suicidal."

"If you stare in a mirror long enough and start screaming, you'll see angry faces of figures dressed in orange. *only works at Home Depot"

"I asked a girl back to my place to enjoy the works of Michel Houellebecq. But she said she ain't no Houellebecq girl."

"How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them!"

"I wonder what chairs think about all day ""Oh, here comes another asshole"""

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None; it's a hardware problem."

"Trying to make a video fullscreen, my dad asked me, ""How do I big it?"" Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian."

"What do bricks and Latinas have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans..."

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? People like me have to go to work and don't have time for all that."

"Let's talk about Sex Baby. I regret you naming our son that. You're a real piece of shit, Tammy."