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Joke of the Day

"Trying to make a video fullscreen, my dad asked me, ""How do I big it?"" Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian."

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"Which administrative ghost is responsible for auditing all of the incoming/outgoing hauntings? The boo-keeper."
"I've just had to take the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide alarm The loud beeping was giving me a headache and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy"
"Ur hot plz marry me. *no reply* OH MY GOSH SORRY FOR THE POCKET TEXT LMAO"
"When is your birthday? 17th January. What year? Every year!"
"What did the elephant say to the naked man? ""How do you breathe through something that small?!"""
"Give them a Cheesecake Factory gift card this holiday season so they know you ""grocery store checkout line"" love them"
"How do you get a one armed man off a tree? You wave to him"
"If your partner makes you sleep closest to the door, you are either the protector or bait for the zombies."
"Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits."