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Joke of the Day

"If your toilet paper roll is on the wrong way, I'll fix it and then never come over again."

"What do you call a rebellious teenager whose parents are a lamb and a moose? A radical mooselamb"

"To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night: I'm not letting you out."

"(Job Interview) Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself. Me: I'm unemployed. I: How about something personal? Me: Personally I need a job."

"My kid wanted juice but I gave him water which he promptly turned into whine."

"I like my women like I like my beer. . . . . . cold, pale and without a head."

"Do you know any jokes about Sodium Hypobromite? NaBrO"

"Why can't you find pirates in Kansas? They all live in Arkansas"

"I am against picketing, but I don't know how to show it Happy Birthday man, we miss you"

"What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar? ""The girls get older, but he stays the same age"" -first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)"