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Joke of the Day
"When bae starts to age... She turns beige."
Next Joke
"Why did Donald Trump win the Republican nomination? Don Rickles is dead."
"[battle] ME: It's no good. We gotta quit SARGE: Quit? I don't know the meaning of the word M: It means give up S: Oh cool. Lets do that"
"Psyched for the new Rihanna/Chris Brown songs! Haven't been this excited since Hitler & Anne Frank's duet, ""Chillax, Haterz!"""
"[shines flashlight under chin] In my day, kids ate gluten and rode bikes without helmets and OPEN LETTERS DIDN'T EXIST [children scream]"
"My version of ""naked and afraid"" is when I'm in the shower, soap in my eyes, and I hear a weird noise."
"Whats a hoes idea? A Thot."
"When I smell weed coming from my neighbors house I call him pretending I'm the Mexican Cartel, and accuse him of stealing my drugs."
"What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? We really *do* taste like chicken!"
"Sir your resume is just a list of songs you can play in Guitar Hero on expert ""yea"" Even trogdor? ""fo sho"" Alright, welcome to Led Zeppelin"