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Joke of the Day

"Morning after The morning after pill...did you know it's called the ""anti-baby pill"" in Germany? And in Sweden it's called the ""regret pill"". However in Chicago it's called the ""crime fighter"" pill."

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"The Revenant was... Grizzly."
"I was in a highbrow bar at the Ritz Carlton, and their Pianist was asking folks for requests. I said to him, ""Can you play an Etude by Chopin?"" He replied, ""Which one?"" I responded, ""The composer."""
"Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family? Because he was Uber busy."
"What does the grim reaper and a pedophile have in common? They both take people before their time."
"Two dogs are going on a walk down the street They walk past a few parking meters and one dog says to the other, ""Hey, check it out! Pay toilets!"""
"What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic!"
"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his wife when she asked if Christmas was his favourite holiday I still love Easter, Baby."
"Kind of cruel that ""stutter"" has two syllables."
"My heart is like an onion... I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again"