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Joke of the Day

"what's that lassie? ""Bark"" Timmy's in a well? ""Bark"" and he's jerkin it? ""Bark"" he's looking at what?! ""Bark"" dude I've heard enough"

"Yesterday I saw a little kid who kept refusing to go home for a nap. He was resisting a rest."

"Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff.. Bahh, dum, hiss"

"What did Dracula say to the teacher? See you next period."

"SOON I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOUR HEROES AND TAKE MY PLACE AS YOUR WORLD LEADER BUT FIRST WHAT IS YOUR MOM'S CASSEROLE RECIPE IT IS DELIGHTFUL"

"My nickname is Snapchat.... My nickname is Snapchat because I only last 5 seconds and then disappear forever."

"Never tell a woman to calm down when she's drunk, it's like baptizing a cat. It's not gonna work"

"Sometimes I think Scientology was secretly started by Mormons so they could have a religion to make fun of."

"Why couldn't the pony sing? He was a little horse."