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Joke of the Day

"My nickname is Snapchat.... My nickname is Snapchat because I only last 5 seconds and then disappear forever."

"Making people uncomfortable & upset really gives me the most happiness in life . Above all else , I hope to make you feel wrong"

"Home is where your wi-fi connects automatically."

"How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down"

"Why crush your kid's imagination by telling them the Tooth Fairy ""doesn't exist"" when you can just have her leave a suicide note?"

"What do a near sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose."

"For lack of a better word... Buy a thesaurus"

"Are you guys gonna enjoy your weekend I'm not I'll probably obsess over the problems I create in my mind then maybe eat something I regret"

"What did Hellen Keller not see when she fell? ..... the floor"

"My wife said she would come back home to me if I promised to give up my obsession with wanking on the staircase. I said, ""Okay, but can we take it one step at a time?"""