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Joke of the Day

"How to break into comedy Crack a joke"

"How do blind people sign contracts? On the dotted line."

"I rang my boss and asked him ""what is the difference between work and your daugter?"" ""I won't be coming into work today!"""

"There's a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking."

"What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike? Look ma, no hands!"

"A guy walks into a bar... He should have ducked."

"I just submitted my application to be on the next season of Survivor... Which apparently was not the answer my dad was looking for when he asked ""How is the job search going?"""

"How to keep an idiot busy for hours [read below] How to keep an idiot busy for hours [read title]"

"If republicans stand up and clap I get a shot, if democrats stand up and clap I have to buy someone a shot who can't afford it. #sotu"

"Top of my Med School Class: I don't just play God, I win. *definitely not remotely true*"