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Joke of the Day

"At first I couldn't get used to all the plants in my living room... But I think I started growing into it."

"My dad hit my with this one: His belt."

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Single"

"I hate people who support the Nazis They're such deutschbags."

"I'm dating a feminist historian Not to brag, but I am -*really*- good in bed. She thinks I've been fucking her for thousands of years."

"For me, coming out as a teenager was the hardest thing I've experienced. God knows what it must have been like for my mother. Being in labour for that long."

"Why is the U.S dollar getting stronger? Fiscal therapy"

"People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown."

"My Wife Saw Me Licking A Yogurt Lid And Said ""Why Don't You Lick Me Like That?"" ""Because Yogurt Tastes Better"" The Divorce Is Next Tuesday"

"Did you hear about the Florida pastor's Quran burning? His actions are incendiary."