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Joke of the Day

"I was watching a porno I was watching a porn film earlier, was just a sad fat bloke masturbating and weeping.....then I realized I hadn't turned the tv on :("

"Staring deeply into the abyss. Paralyzed by fear. Unable to move, let alone function. In short, yes, Pandora. I'm still listening."

"Got a cease and desist letter that says I can't wear my hard hat around town until I learn how to wolf whistle."

"I just can't find any good doctors... EVERY one of them is still in practice."

"Rap is like a mountain. It's mostly black, but the top is white."

"Did you hear about the guy that spilled curry powder in his bed? Woke up in a Korma"

"Last night I went out drinking with some high school friends. About 2 hours into it they were like... ""Dude, shouldn't you be hanging out with people your own age?"""

"A Dietitian X Nun's favourite song? Agave Maria"

"Why did the Portuguese guy take Xanax? Hispanic attacks."

"What kind of musical instrument do mice play ? A mouse organ !"