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Joke of the Day

"Got a cease and desist letter that says I can't wear my hard hat around town until I learn how to wolf whistle."

"Planet joke. If you make a cake that looks like Mars, could you say it's out of this world? ;)"

"I gave away all of my dead batteries Free of charge."

"Why do they carry Marines around on Naval ships? Because sheep would be too obvious."

"What's the integral of 1/(cabin)? 1 natural log cabin. I'll show myself out."

"*passenger next to me starts putting on headphones* Are you mad at me?"

"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!"

"shoutout to all the objects in my perceptual field. u know who u are ;)"

"I won't be gratified sexually until someone dumps one of those big Gatorade containers on me after."

"So a duck walks into a bar... He waddles over to a seat and settles in. The bartender says ""Hey there, what can I get for you?"" And the duck says ""I... I don't know. I've never made it this far."""