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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Mark Watney get any pussy on Mars? Curiosity killed the cat"

"Snowy White and the 7 dwarves... Snowy White and the 7 dwarves were lying in bed feeling happy...but happy didn't like it and got out..."

"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm incontinent No time to talk."

"I saw a lady texting and driving today... I was furious. I rolled down my window, and threw my beer at her."

"Oh man what's it called when you keep doing the same thing over & over but keep getting the same result? Oh yeah, I'm a serial killer."

"I before E except after C. Yes another myth disproven by science."

"On his 22nd birthday, my brother came out as a transvestite to our family and celebrated by wearing a miniskirt... ...that shows a lot of balls."

"Parents: ""Why don't you come socialize with the family?"" Me: *sits with family* *gets insulted by entire family* *goes back to bedroom*"

"An NFL chuckler If the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are called the Bucs, and the Jacksonville Jaguars are called the Jags, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?"

"Girl, yo grammatical atrocities so huge, you need typosuction."