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Joke of the Day

"I was given MDMA and LSD tonight... What a shit way to start a game of Scrabble."

"What old-time song is the burgers' favourite? 'Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!"

"Dear students, I know when you're texting Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, your teacher."

"High school plays are a lot like airplanes. People only want to hear about them if they crash and burn."

"Therapist: what's your biggest issue with your husband? Wife: he gives me no privacy Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true"

"Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dining room, patio..."

"Why did Saddam Hussein never have sex? ....because he was afraid he'd see Bush."

"If you play Titanic backwards it's about a guy who rises from the sea, bangs a ginger and tries to throw her over the railing of a boat."

"Amazing scenes in rural US as Trump supporters are seen high-sixing each other."

"Scientists say there are now 4 confirmed states of matter Solid matter Liquid matter Gas matter and most recently... Black Lives matter"