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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: what's your biggest issue with your husband? Wife: he gives me no privacy Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true"

Next Joke
 
"BOSS: I don't know if you're the right man for the job BAKER: NO PLEASE *holds up dough* I KNEAD THIS"
"If you're offended by anything on my TL, whatever you do, do not look at the rest of the internet."
"Q: Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? A: Because she had no guts!"
"You may call it ""alcohol abuse"" but I've never heard alcohol complain."
"Did you know diarrhea is genetic? It runs in your jeans"
"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out man!"
"When Chuck Norris is pulled over, cops show him their IDs"
"My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207..."
"Water leak. No water for 2 days. Then the plumber cut the cable line. No internet. No TV. 2 stinky teenagers. Send wine and bail money."