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Joke of the Day

"Dear students, I know when you're texting Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, your teacher."

"Punchline... Joke..."

"Me: Pull my finger. Doctor: Ok. [finger detaches] Me: AAAAHHHHH! Doctor: AAAAHHHHH!!! ME: haha j/k that's actually why I came in."

"Ray Rice and Janay Rice go together..... like peanut butter..and whatever punches peanut butter in the face"

"I hate ramen noodles. *Checks bank account balance* I love ramen noodles!"

"Fun prank... Make them study for 16 years and then don't give them jobs"

"""If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end, the person will die."" -- Neil deGrasse Tyson https://twitter.com/neiltyson"

"Did you hear the one about the Seahawk who wouldn't stop talking? He kept beating a dead horse."

"i was one of the palm trees waving around in the background of every 16 bit game in the 90's so yes random guy you do know me from somewhere"

"Q: What makes a chef sadder the skinnier it gets? A: An onion."