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Joke of the Day

"There were two guys fishing... Suddenly a hedgehog passes by and asks them: -""Hey guys do you have any glue""? They answer no and he leaves. Ten minutes later he comes back. -""I brought some"""

"What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles? UCLA"

"The three unwritten rules of life. 1. 2. 3."

"What do you call a rude German? A Deutsch bag"

"What are some canned retorts that can be funny in many situations, like ""that's what she said"" or ""let's not and say we did""?"

"What did one doctor say to the other doctor? ""We're both doctors"""

"I am finally going to be rich someday... I've invested in toilet paper and funeral homes. 'Cause at some point, everyone has to go!"

"My teenage son Filbert was ejected from the Young Republicans for naming his pet lizard Bernie Salamanders. You bet your buns he's grounded."

"I don't believe it, but Google insists I am the first monkey at a typewriter to bang out the phrase, ""So thirsty I could blow a horse."""

"Oscar Pistorius wants a new bathroom door His girlfriend is dead against it."