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Joke of the Day

"Oscar Pistorius wants a new bathroom door His girlfriend is dead against it."

"Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell"

"Women are like voltron... the more you hook up the better it is"

"Yo mamma is so lazy and dumb... She thought Jungle Gym was Tarzan's cousin! Original. You're welcome."

"What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit? ""WITNESS ME!"""

"How to stop an unwanted DM. Hi, how are you? Me: Well, my ex has me on a wanted list because I'm a psychotic cow, how are you?"

"He said I reminded him of the girl from The Ring. We laughed and laughed, and then I put an axe in his back and ate his soul."

"Friends are a lot like trees... They fall down when hit multiple times with an axe"

"What is Winrar's Favorite pickup line? I can Unzip it for you."

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""This is not working. I'm going to my mom's house."" I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?"