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Joke of the Day
"If our feet had mouths then they'd be walkie talkies."
Next Joke
"I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face."
"Who the hell buys furniture online? Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in? What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay?"
"My bank is trying to get people to open additional savings accounts, but there is no interest."
"Every time I approach girls they inexplicably shoot away from me. Can't say definitively if I have the force but... The correlation is strong with this one."
"Why was Hitler doomed to fail? because jew wrongs don't make a riech"
"I just ran over a tree, a 5'2"" blonde screaming tree with a purse."
"Two men walk into a bar.. The first one orders H^2 O And the second orders H^2 O too. The second man dies."
"My grandfather never forgave the Japanese for Pearl Harbor... ...until I explained to him that it was the Americans who made that movie."
"The internet is down at work. I took my top off and lit a campfire. Coyotes are near. I'll sacrifice Todd from HR. How do you hunt rabbit?"