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Joke of the Day

"Church is so annoying.. Your either on your knees or standing up. I wish the priest would just find a position to fuck me."

"After countless scientific trials and errors, I have successfully turned back time. It's emit."

"Why should you always take at least two Baptists fishing? Because if you take one, he'll drink all your beer"

"What do you call a fresh creme pie? Creme fraiche"

"Do you know why they can't make ice in Poland anymore? The lady that had the recipe died."

"The fact that people use the wrong ""your,"" ""there,"" ""it's"" and ""its"" yet spell ""Bieber"" correctly just kills me."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Crash Test Barbie ...comes with car and brick wall"

"In 1752, Benjamin Franklin invented electricity because it was no longer considered humane to execute people using an acoustic chair."

"He looks at her, she undresses him with her eyes His clothes fall Whoa whoa. Are you a witch lady because that was creepy.."

"The lights at JayZ's house weren't working, so he called me to fix it. Now he's got 99 problems but the switch ain't one."