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Joke of the Day

"After countless scientific trials and errors, I have successfully turned back time. It's emit."

"Honestly Officer, I do have a few ideas as to why I'd get pulled over, but I'm kind of afraid to tell you. Let's both say it on 1-2-3, ok?"

"The new film coming out about a kid with cerebral palsy isn't doing well with critics . . . . . It gets off to a shaky start then ends up falling flat on it's face"

"Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button."

"A pedophile and an 8 year old are walking into the forest.. The kid says to the pedo, ""I am scared"" The pedo replies, ""You're scared?? I have to walk back alone!"""

"How do you lose fourteen stone of fat? Dump him."

"What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant? A tusky!"

"Can people using windows play games online with people with using Mac? Depends on the wifi at Starbucks."

"What do you call a scary pterodactyl A terroradactyl"

"I like my women like Hillary Nasty and exposed !"