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Joke of the Day
"Imagine PREDATOR is a sequel to E.T. Now enjoy both films more."
Next Joke
"My wife wanted to spice up our sex life. So she asks me if I wanna have a threesome. I said, ""Sweetie. If I ever have sex with two women at the same time..... neither one is gonna be you."""
"[boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount"
"Apparently I took my elderly neighbor's offer to ""come inside"" a bit too far. Anyway, totally in jail."
"A young Lil' Wayne sits alone typing lyrics into Word 97 when a cartoon paperclip suddenly appears on-screen. [Did you mean ""digger""?]"
"I just went to poop without my phone & had to entertain myself with a magazine like a god damned caveman."
"Some friends of mine recently lost their baby. They swore to never dress him in camouflage again if he turns up."
"I'm worried about my relationship with my anorexic girlfriend... ...I'm seeing less and less of her each day."
"Why do Trumpler supporters think he's honest? He told them he would be ""fourthreich"" and they misheard."
"I had beer at lunchtime and now I think I might be sitting in the wrong office"