229676

Joke of the Day

"A 79 year old pirate has his next birthday this morning.... he wakes up and says to his crew, ""AYE-matey!"""

"Why does Santa Claus have such a large sack? He only comes once a year."

"i've decided to start a new healthier lifestyle. I'm adding cranberry juice to my morning Vodka."

"Marriage is like a tattoo. You say it's for ever but we all know there are ways & means of ditching it. It'll just be painful and expensive."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm an electric eel That's shocking!"

"The barman says 'I'm sorry we don't serve time travelers.' A time traveler walks into a bar..."

"Maybe installing Freudian Autocorrect was not the breast idea."

"So I asked my friend what ADHD was... He told me ""It's was like a better quality version of."""

"Where do Muslims go when they die? Everywhere."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It got its head cut off"