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Joke of the Day

"On the off chance I'm captured by cannibals, I've got a 'Best if eaten by 1975' tattoo on my neck."

"Why couldn't Sally use the swings? She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for her Birthday? We don't know, she didn't open it yet."

"Women who brag about multi-tasking should chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 3 things wrong at once"

"What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food."

"What does Bob Marley wear to sleep? pa-jammins"

"What do you get when you intersect two planes? A national travesty."

"So, funny story. That Thundercat I shot on my front porch was some dumbass kid in a costume. Regardless, he's going up on the wall."

"For every male action, there is a female overreaction..."

"I remember being told that everytime you shave it off, it grows back thicker Can't wait to see my new cock."

"Sex is a misdemeanor; the more I miss, the meaner I get!"