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Joke of the Day

"You can only enjoy Lord of the Rings if you're taking heroin... It's called high fantasy."

"Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear condoms when having sex with women. Every women wants to be impregnated by Chuck Norris."

"What do you call a man with no arms & no legs... ...hanging on the wall? Art ...floating in the sea? Bob ...laying on the floor? Matt ...down in a hole? Phil ...sitting in a pot? Stu ..."

"My father was from Iceland and my mother was from Cuba. I'm an Ice Cube."

"[parole hearing] OFFICER: are u reformed? ME: I O: go on M: I th O: tell us M: I'm O: yes M: can I finish my sentence O: ok parole denied"

"If a deaf person gets arrested Does the officer still have to read them their rights?"

"I got ""Nope"" on ""Are You Going To Take This Quiz To Find Out What Stupid Character Or Song Or Food You Are?"""

"NAME THAT FLOWER Q: What is the name of the flower you find between your nose and your chin? A: Tulips."

"""Ok, what chemical symbol should we give this Gold?"" *thief runs by, steals gold* ""Hey! You!"" Au, got it. Next element."

"I'm a psychiatrist studying the relationship between humans and dogs in beastiality You can find me in my lab"