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Joke of the Day

"""Ok, what chemical symbol should we give this Gold?"" *thief runs by, steals gold* ""Hey! You!"" Au, got it. Next element."

"What do you call a confusing sharp pain in the ass immediately after a break up? An ex or cist?"

"I have bathed in the blood of virgins! I had a nosebleed in the shower."

"I tried looking up another word for butthurt But I can't find my thesoreass."

"What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"I peel my underwear off as you watch me & then hand it to you, Smiling You know what's coming next.. It's your turn to do the laundry"

"Whats grey and comes in pints? Elephants"

"I have a joke about California's drought. But it's pretty dry."

"Coworker: How are you doing this morning? Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you?"

"The stock market monitors Chuck Norris."